What makes us stronger?

Last week I had a journey to make. It was to fulfill an ancient duty, the duty of filial love. Cordelia from King Lear said it best, “According to my bond; nor more nor less.” Someone tried to thank me for the journey, and I still don’t understand why: it was my father’s life at stake, there was no choice in the matter of my trip, I was always going to be there. (Those of you who know your Shakespeare know that Cordelia loved her father best.)

My father injured himself. I’ll speak of that more in a moment. As soon as my health was properly examined to make sure my blood count was fit for travel, I headed to the airport and was on the plane. (How I got to him is another story entirely, and I had a lot of help on the journey. Thanks, you guys.)

Chemotherapy last week went just fine. I’ve been dwelling on it too much, I think. Faced with a larger issue, it dwindled down to nothing but an annoyance that slowed me down. It’s amazing how something that seemed so large a month ago found its place nice and quickly. In short, chemotherapy was just fine, my body afterwards felt the puffiness and bloatedness that I knew it would, and in time everything settled back into place. It’s been almost two weeks since my first treatment, and my next will be next week, and for the next three. My body will hurt for a bit, and then it will be over.

Unlike the current issue facing my family now.

My father injured himself: he was climbing down a cable ladder into a cave entrance, and did not belay himself. He fell from thirteen feet onto his head, fractured his spine in two places, broke four ribs, and had a concussion. In the hospital last week he fought off pneumonia and began to recover himself. The first few days I saw him, he was so weak as to be unable to move. By the end of my visit he was moving into a wheelchair and back to sit up, and his mind as active as ever.

He has lost the use of his legs at present. He will be going into rehabilitation at the best possible facility in order to work hard on knitting his body and learning it again, focusing on reforging the connection between his legs and his mind.

I’ll be writing about his growing and learning process in here too, from now on. He’d like me to write this about his past week:

He’s been using visioning techniques to think about motion while someone helps move his legs and feet. He’s been controling breath with yoga and yogic breathing learned from years of meditation and buddhist practices. He’s maintaining as good nutrition as he can on a hospital diet. And he is going to focus on yoga, the connection between mind and body, to assist his recovery.

He’s also been using an iPad, and quite enjoying the connection it gives him, to good music and good thoughts and other people and a larger world.

I’m there with him mentally today, although I had to fly back and attend to the rest of my life.

But that doesn’t answer the question posed in the title to this post: What makes us stronger?

When I returned home early yesterday morning, I looked around my house and saw my answer: all of the creative projects that I write about here sustain me, and seeing the fruits of my labor (a few crocheted hats, a photo book about my daughter’s year for her grandparents, a set of eraser stamps that I’d carved, other small bright things) helped me feel great peace. As long as I am able to create, I am able to feel connected to joy, and dark times are not nearly as dark.

This is about the connection between the mind and body too. I’m planning to carve more stamps this week, and maybe crochet another hat. I eagerly await my dad’s next decision about where he will go for rehabilitation.

What makes you stronger?

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  1. I get strength from my family. I recently started a new job after being unemployed for 2-1/2 years. I had anxiety about going there and meeting a building of new people and performing my job which requires skill. I’m awkward socially so it’s always a strain for me meeting new people and then I had the performance anxiety as well. I did something that I usually do. I wore some jewelry that my husband and my mom gave me. I touched my bracelet or my earrings and would think to myself “my mom loves me” or “John is proud of me”… I gain strength knowing I have the love of my husband, my mom and my 3 sisters and all their families. That’s not even mentioning all the friends I’ve acquired over the years. I know that if I have a problem or a worry I can count on them for support. It’s really wonderful to be able to reach out to people and have them be there.

  2. This is a beautiful writing! Very inspiring ❤



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